I've been looking under rocks and breaking locks

Had my last two written tests today. It sure feels weird to know that secondary school education is ending for me. Sometimes I still feel like I'm still in sec 3 or something. It's that kind of feeling when you write "2010" on your homework and realise that it's already 2011. Time sure flies! Although I'm still 15 years young hehe ^^

I HAVE TO WRITE ABOUT MY LAST CHEM TEST IN SECONDARY SCHOOL. Okay so before the paper even started, I was already on the verge of tears. I felt pretty numb before I walked into the examination hall and once I sat down, I was like... crap. And when Mr Johll walked past and gave me that smile, I totally died inside because I knew I won't do well and I'll disappoint everybody else again ☹ I don't know why I have such a phobia for chemistry but it just seems so alien to me. Just like how some people find math alien and totally impossible. I feel that way for chem and I don't know how to get over it. The paper was okay even though I almost didn't have time to finish it, but... I just know that I won't do well for it. Somehow. I don't know why either :(

This is the first time that I don't really want to get back my results :(

Chemistry and school aside... I've been having REALLY REALLY cool dreams. Yesterday I dreamt that I was getting married on the field beside my house omg haha. I think it's because I've always wondered why the field beside my house is so pretty and why we have to move away. I'll miss the greenery so much :( Oh and I dreamt that some guy broke into my house and my fridge was really messy, so I snapped into my awesome detective persona and theorised that he must have made a mess to hide something. And sooooo I found out that he stole all my m&m's! Afterwards that guy returned with a ghost when the police came but they were invisible to the policemen and I was so spooked out because they just appeared out of nowhere. THEN THE GUY TURNED INTO A CLOCK and I tortured him by spinning the hands round and round and he just kept chanting "I want chocolate... I want chocolate..."

Okay what movies have I been watching hmm. I'm so cranked up. Must be all the stress that was killing me last night because of... chem :(

Why must things constantly change?



Just something light so this entry won't seem so moody. Kids are so cute ☺ XO

Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve this, sometimes I just don't want to wait anymore... But then I think about why I've been holding on, and I tell myself: you're worth it :)