Dec 8, 2011

Talk about our future like we had a clue

Sometimes I look upon your lonely figure, and I think to myself what is it that keeps you sane. Does it hurt you, or does it already feel numb? If it feels numb, how long and how much effort has it taken you to come to this stage? And every time I arrive at the same conclusion: that I never want to be you; I never want to be alone.

And as much as we comfort ourselves and try to tell ourselves that it doesn't matter, deep inside, we know it does.

--

Was talking to mummy about how we used to sneak out to the convenience store downstairs to get tidbits and junk food, and she told me that she always knew but because it wasn't an extreme practice, she didn't say anything about it. That's such a bummer... I used to think that we were so skilled (ninja_95/97) that our parents never found out about it. I told mummy that we even brought the house phone along when we sneaked out just so we could pick up the phone if my dad calls. I mean, we were smart, right?

Oh and I sent out the letter to Yanting yesterday :) I would be very happy if I had hello kitty stamps! That would be just perfect.


Or maybe someday I'll have my face printed on a stamp. Hehehehehe
It's getting harder now, just like what I had predicted it to become
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[Edit]: 2011 has pretty much been a test for me. I've made so many decisions this year and those decisions weren't small ones; many of them had such great impacts on my life - and my emotions, too. Thought about it (under my blankets) and wrote it all down. I would be grateful to myself for doing this a few years down the road. I'm pretty sure. Just have to get through this initial phase of sadness... And perhaps gluttony. Whoa. Why am I already expecting the worst? 

Guess I always knew. I just fought it out of my stubborn nature. Now reality is back to hit me in the face and I'll have to make amendments for what I've done to ruin my own life.

It's okay. Everything's gonna be okay in the end; and if it's not okay, it's not the end.

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