2 A.M.

It's a little pass 2 a.m. and tomorrow is my first day of school, but I have no lectures tomorrow so I'm still sitting here feeling quite awake. The past few weeks have been exciting but draining; I made many new friends in o'week and while helping out for rag who are really quite different from the people I usually hang out with. It's really amazing how just a few months ago I was so nervous about my A level results and suddenly, in a blink of an eye, I'm already stepping into university life.

Throughout all these, one man has been with me both physically and spiritually, and I cannot be more grateful for him. Yet in the past 24 hours I have hurt him so much. I hate myself so much for it. I hate that I am growing up and things cannot be just right or wrong. I hate that there is such a large grey area between right and wrong now, and I have to consider so many aspects of things when I want to make a decision. I hate that I cannot even figure out what I really need, and most of all, I hate that because of my personal confusion and doubts, I am putting another person whom I care so much for through hell.

You don't deserve all this shit, but thank you for sticking around even when I messed things up. And as I grow to become a little less selfish and a little more appreciative, I hope you will be there to see my progress and continue fighting for me.

And continue fighting for us.