下雨的今天，我能躲到哪里去？

I laid down today, thinking - why is it so hard to express how I really feel? My eyes were wide open, and I laid still, thinking the same things that I keep thinking about. It has become the norm lately, as if my thoughts run in a circle, day in and day out. I let the full cycle of thoughts stream through my mind again, and then I realised: I was unwilling to show that I was hurt. I can express my affection. I can shout at someone who made me angry. But I do not want to let people see that I am hurt. It's not just a sign of weakness; it's a sign that I put enough power in this person's hands to make me feel less than who I am. It's a sign of vulnerability. It's a sign that this person is important to me, and it scares me. It scares me to the point where I want to give up and hide from this mess.