How I wish I could always wake up to see a beautiful sky on top of my head. How I wish I could take a day off and just lie down and not doing anything at all. How I wish I could let my mind blank out for just ten minutes without having any thoughts pass through it.
Carbonyl Tutorial. Minutes. Forms. Pre-u sem. Dance.
So many things that I have to do; so many things that I have to think about.
Yet it's okay. It's okay that I don't have time to do all this. I cherish time that I take out to do things that I really love, like filling up this space with words and pictures; but it's not my priority now. I know what I need to do for myself and I will do it, and it's okay to sacrifice a bit of being me - the lazy, fun-loving me - to do it .
I think people secretly badmouth me for being so vain hehehehehe but my self-esteem is too high for you guys to hurt me so don't even try :-) It's not that I think that I'm some kind of world beauty (even though I think all girls will look beautiful if they bother to dress up and stuff) but I did gain more and more confidence throughout all these years!! I would say that however much people hate our school for being "boring" and "mugger-ish", I think that you guys are the ones making your experiences horrible. Nj was the best decision I've ever made and coming here helped me grow so, so much.
Had a little adventure at Bishan while I was taking a break off a whole day of mugging. To everyone out there: I AM NOT A CLOSET MUGGER. If I was a closet mugger, I wouldn't be announcing to the whole world that I studied over the weekends. Ugh I get so angst when people hint at it! I'm already so real that I offend myself sometimes. Hehe.
Today I came home to new gifts from my parents - two new skater skirts from my mum and a pretty pink portable charger from my dad! I feel so grateful for all that I have and I promise to pay it forward in the future in my own little way. I think that it doesn't matter how much you do; what matters is whether you have the heart to do it or not. It's not about what you do; it's about what the intentions behind your actions are.
That being said, being loved shouldn't be your main goal. To truly be a human with humanity, we should all learn how to love someone with all our heart. There's a difference between liking your friends, and loving your friends, and I actually do love some of my friends. Granted, they annoy me at times, but there are some friends whom I would not exchange anything for. And I can truly say that I love being friends with these people and I would go out of my way to do things for them :)
All these nagging are probably symptoms of my ageing.
Off to complete my tasks and assignments! Just remember: whatever comes your way, take it in your stride and just smile.
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